


Five Times Tony Sneezed

by LeonoraChris



Series: Plus One [1]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Accidents, Five Plus One, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Sneezing, bad day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 08:05:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13244034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeonoraChris/pseuds/LeonoraChris
Summary: ...and then one time he didn't. Really, he didn't.





	Five Times Tony Sneezed

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  _The story and any possible original characters are mine.  
>  NCIS, its own characters and canon aren't._
> 
> * * *

**ONE**

"Wow. She's a beauty, boss," Tony said with no less awe than the first time when he discovered that his boss was building a boat in his basement. _A boat_. How awesome was that?

Gibbs quirked a small smile at the compliment and stroked her side with pride. She was his best work so far. He leaned closer and blew away the sawdust there. "We have a case?" he asked, knowing that his phone was smashed— er, out of order at the moment.

Tony opened his mouth to answer when the sawdust reached his face and he inhaled some of it. His reply became a huge sneeze.

"Bless you," Gibbs muttered amusedly.

Tony sneezed again, and again. He barely could take another breath before he would sneeze again.

"Tony..?" Gibbs took a hesitant step forward when he saw how not so funny way this one could end up.

"I'm—" Tony sneezed. "I'll be—" He sneezed. "I think I should—" He sneezed and then hurried away from the basement, sneezing all the way out.

* * *

  **TWO**

"This is why you dragged me from my basement on my day off?" Gibbs questioned. The place seemed nice enough, he had to admit, but he wasn't that fond of spending money on some expensive food when he could just do it himself; however limited those options were.

"I was hungry and wanted something special, but coming to a place like this alone seems kind of... I don't know. Lame? Sad? Besides, I knew you wouldn't see the outside of your basement all weekend unless we had a case. Also, I'm paying."

Gibbs eyed the menu warily. Half of the names were a complete mystery to him. He chose the safest thing he could and was relieved when the food came; it didn't look that different from a much fancier version of something he might make himself. The only thing he wasn't too happy with was the portion. How on earth was a man supposed to live through the day with an empty stomach?

Tony chewed his food thoughtfully and then finally shook his head unhappily and reached over his plate to get the pepper shaker, ignoring the stink eye of the chef he could easily picture in his mind.

"Not enough flavor for you?" Gibbs guessed, but before Tony could reply, the lid from the shaker fell off, emptying the content over the plate. That's when the sneezing started.

* * *

  **THREE**

"Prepare to be amazed, boss," Tony announced when they entered his apartment later.

Since Tony was still hungry, like a cranky toddler, he decided that after the kind of day he'd had, it was safer to go home. What better excuse to impress the boss with his mad Italian skills in the kitchen. Thank you, nonna.

"I haven't been impressed so far today, DiNozzo," Gibbs warned. The front of his shirt was still drying; the result of what happened when Tony tried to drink some water while still sneezing.

"Challenge accepted." Tony grinned with shining eyes.

Gibbs was impressed, he had to admit, as he watched Tony showing off his way above average talent in the kitchen. He didn't even mind it too much when Tony broke into some stereotype Italian commercial song. "You'll make a fine wife someday, DiNozzo."

"Funny," Tony returned dryly as he whisked the eggs; by hand because that's the way his nonna used to do it.

Gibbs sat down to watch, and let the younger man dominate the kitchen. There was that mad glint in the man's eyes that spoke of a territorial war if he so much as offered to wash the dishes.

Just as things were looking good, Tony twirled around to get something, and managed to knock down the bag of flour that he forgot to put away. "Oh no," he gasped when he saw the cloud surrounding him and a moment before the sneezing began. Gibbs didn't say anything. He silently pointed at the door and Tony got the message through his watering eyes to leave the kitchen. When he did, Gibbs opened the window and cleaned the kitchen from the flour, sneezing few times, but it was mild in comparison.

Later, when Tony could breathe again and they sat down to eat, Tony had something to get off his chest. "You know, this is your fault, boss," Tony muttered. "If you didn't keep me at work so much, I wouldn't have gotten so unfamiliar with my own kitchen."

Gibbs was much too full and happy with the good food, so he didn't even feign irritation. He shook his head and ate happily.

* * *

  **FOUR**

Tony snored. They had barely had time to put away their plates when the call came and they had a case again. They ended up working all the way through what was left of the day and most of the night, some of it under pouring rain. Now was the time for a power nap, while Gibbs had gone away to find himself some coffee.

Something tickled his nose and Tony's nose twitched in response. His subconsciousness registered whispering between two individuals and someone giggling. The tickling happened again, less hesitant this time and Tony's nose twitched. He woke up sitting, with a sneeze and banged his head against something.

McGee yelped painfully and fell on his ass, holding his head. He wasn't fast enough to hide the feather laying on his lap, which Tony saw and was quick to realize what had happened. Ziva was standing too far away, so it could only be one person who did it. Not to say that he believed Ziva was innocent, which he was sure to find out later. If anything, he wouldn't be surprised if she had urged McGullible to do it for her.

Rubbing at his aching forehead, Tony stared hard at McGee who swallowed nervously. "You better keep eyes on your back, McTickle," he warned and McGee swallowed again.

* * *

  **FIVE**

Tony sneezed and he wiped a hand under his nose. He saw Gibbs staring at him suspiciously. "Probably still have something in my nose, boss," he spoke with a stuffy nose.

Gibbs narrowed his eyes. "When we're done, you'll go see Ducky."

"But I'm—"

"If you say _fine_ , I'll fine your ass. Ducky."

Tony looked petulant. "Ducky. Got it, boss."

* * *

  **+1**

Through the power of some powerful medicine from Ducky, Tony managed to get through the case, feeling well enough to even run after their suspect if they found the guy and he decided to do the runner.

"You sure you're good enough for this, DiNozzo?" Gibbs questioned on the way to the old warehouse, where they suspected their suspect was hiding. Tony had chuckled at the matching words; the amusement mostly brought out by the combination of exhaustion and the medicine.

"I won't endanger the case, boss."

"That's not what I asked."

"Yes. I'll be fine. Whatever Ducky gave me, tasted vile, but it works. Besides, I'm not even that sick; you heard him."

"What _I_ heard him say is that you're not that sick _now_ , but it could easily become more if we're not careful."

"I'll be fine."

When Gibbs stopped the car in front of the old building, Tony whistled. "How, I must know, does that thing still stand? Are you sure they said it's safe to enter?"

"If it's not, I'll have their job and ass," Gibbs promised, equally uncertain about the condition of the thing looking more like a death trap than a secure place to step in. He was about to suggest that Tony wait outside, however futile he knew that would be.

"Well, I guess there's only one way to find out," Tony decided and was first to make his way toward the warehouse, willing to be the test subject, just in case the worst happened. Another issue with the place became obvious immediately when Tony entered the moldy old building, which was the reason he paused to sneeze; the obvious mold his sensitive nose could detect. His mouth was open and his eyes were screwed shut when he thought he heard some odd rumbling and then a sudden, "Tony!" His world had turned dark before he could get that sneeze out.

Gibbs had been walking behind Tony and was just about to enter the building, when he saw two things; Tony about to sneeze, again, and something moving. It was unclear just what it was that had moved, but from what Gibbs later found out, it was obviously some crucial part of the house that had collapsed. He couldn't even go to his Agent, because one of the people who had arrived with them pulled him back. He could only watch in horror as the whole building collapsed in front of them, taking Tony with it. Surely no one could survive that.

***

The first thing Tony was aware of was the familiar smell of a hospital, then came the sound of the machine beeping. He felt exhausted and feverish. When he finally opened his eyes, it was to see Gibbs looking down at him, with a strange look on his face. "W-what..?" Tony whispered, then frowned at the weak quality of his voice and how much strength it took.

"Save your voice. You've been very ill, on top of being injured." Gibbs sighed wearily and sat down on the creaky chair next to the bed. "Only you could sneeze hard enough to collapse the entire building, DiNozzo."

Tony frowned and organized his memories. "I didn't sneeze."

"Well, whatever it was, that's the story everyone now knows." Gibbs smiled tiredly. He looked like someone who had spent hours awake, and he really needed a shower in Tony's humble opinion. Or a shave. Both. "Just between you and me, the building _was_ unsteady and it was only a matter of time before it collapsed."

"Huh." Tony stared at the ceiling numbly when it only then registered fully that he had nearly died. Gibbs hadn't said anything yet, but his body told a painful tale about his near-death experience.

"Get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up again," Gibbs promised.

When Tony closed his eyes and finally relaxed into sleep again, the pain medication in his veins doing wonders, Gibbs allowed himself to slump in the chair. It had been too close. In his mind's eye, he still saw what he'd at the time thought was a dead body, which then prompted them all into controlled panic when they realized Tony was still alive. The recovering of the body turned into a rescue mission. It also turned out that their suspect had been there after all, hiding in some carefully made hole under the floor. It became the grave that he'd dug for himself. Later, finding the great irony and the fact that the man had done the very thing to his victim, Tony couldn't help but laugh at it, as much as his fading voice allowed.

For a week and five days after Tony was allowed back to work, Gibbs kept monitoring him for any sign of sneezing. Tony counted, because that's how long it took until the boss got something else to direct his unhealthy obsession on. On a more positive note, Tony did also get his revenge on McGee and Ziva, by accident. He passed his cold on them.

**_The End_ **

**Author's Note:**

> I've been meaning to joint he bandwagon of "X plus one" for a while now. And yes, I know that if you start actually counting the sneezes, it's more than five, but who cares. Although it would probably be more accurate to say that it's five situations where the sneezing happens.


End file.
